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How Bad Is It?

Potentially Dangerous:

  • Ignores her feelings.
  • Withholding approval as punishment
  • Repeated humiliation, public and private
  • Blames you for all faults
  • Labeling or Name-Calling: “Crazy, bitch, whore”
  • Pinch/Squeeze
  • Pushing/Shoving/Jerking/Pulling/Shaking
  • Restraining
  • Slapping
  • Pulling hair
  • Looks at and makes jokes about women as sexual objects
  • Extreme jealousy
  • Minimizes her sexual feelings and needs
  • Sexual criticism
  • Jokes about the role of women
  • Denies victim’s history, or heritage


  • Threatens violence and retaliation
  • Puts down abilities as worker, parent, lover, etc.
  • Threatens to abuse children, or get sole custody
  • Shaking which leaves bruises
  • Hitting, punching or kicking
  • Throwing objects
  • Targeted or repeated hitting for punishment
  • Forces you to touch or look at genitalia
  • Withholds sex and affection
  • Forces you to strip in front of others
  • Forces you to watch sex with others
  • Isolates you from friends and family, through inappropriate behaviors or repeated moves
  • Economic dependence (getting you fired or taking your money, etc.)
  • Threatens to hurt your family

Highly Dangerous:

  • Choking
  • Using household objects as weapons
  • Holding hostage
  • Actions that cause broken bones, internal injuries, or anytime medical treatment is needed
  • Use of knives, guns or other weapons.
  • Any attempts to disfigure
  • Forces/Coerces sex, or makes threats for same
  • Forces uncomfortable sex
  • Wants or forces sex after an assault
  • Sex for purpose of hurting
  • Use of objects or weapons in sexual way
  • Directs violence at objects (hits punches or kicks walls, etc)
  • Deprives you of food, sleep, medicine or health care
  • Kills or injures pets; commits incest or child abuse
  • The abuser threatens suicide

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